Threed-Winters is the fifth track on the unfinished EarthBound compilation.
- Duane as Ness
- BrandO as Threed folk, Zombies, Tony, Dr. Andonuts
- Ashleigh Zuwala as Paula
- Danielle Curavo as Threed civilian
- Mike Christensen as Jeff Andonuts
Finally we made it to Threed!
This place is kinda scary!
Relax Paula...it's just a cemetery.
I've got a new bat, so they can bring on the beatin'.
Let's go over to that tent, they're havin' a zombie meetin'.
The zombies are on the move!
I repeat, the zombies are on the move!
We're all dead meat!
Let's set the tent on fire.
That'll never work.
Well, let's just stand around then and hope they leave.
You're scared aren't you Ness?
No! Now what was that?
Don't you zombies make me hit you with my baseball bat!
We've got a long way to go, and we can't stop now!
We gotta make to Fourside 'fore our time runs out.
Let's head over to the hotel, try and get some sleep.
Call my dad, save my game and get somethin' to eat.
Wait, Ness, look out! There's a zombie and a ghost!
Boogity boogity woooooo!
Oh no we're toast!
Where are we at?
I don't know.
I woulda done somethin' but I wasn't prepared!
There has to be a way to get out of this cave.
Use your telepathy for some help.
Okay, there's a guy up in Winters who could help us out.
His name is Jeff, I'll give him a shout.
Well give him a call, what can it hurt I guess?
Shhhh, be quiet, Ness!
We need you...
We need you...
don't forget your pocket protector...
I had the strangest dream.
Last night. I gotta go right now.
Is everything alright?
No, help me get out of here.
What do you mean, Jeff?
I gotta save the world, no time for tests.
Don't hold your breath, I might not come back.
I'll shoot a caveman-
In his nut sack.
(hahahaha) Jump on my back and over the gate.
Thanks a lot bro, this must be fate.
The Headmaster is gonna be irate.
I got my bow tie on, I got my glasses, too.
I just hope I don't forget to remember what to do now!
I got me a monkey and I got me some gum.
Look out Giygas here I come.
Oh, so you want some gum monkey? (monkey noises)
Here you go.
Check me out, look at me go.
I'm ridin' on top of Tessie's skull.
I got the shit under control.
I got my pocket protector, no pens though.
I'm makin' my way through Stonehenge.
So what if I got little to no friends?
This is my crazy story.
What's this? a laboratory?
Yes dear boy! Welcome to my lab! How about a donut?
Son, take the Sky Runner rescue your friends.
I'm already there.
Well, okay then. Goodbye!
- BrandO has said that some of Jeff's lines are actually himself imitating Mike Christensen.
- When Paula is using her telepathy to contact Jeff, she can be heard saying "Don't forget your pocket protector."
- Paula telling Ness to be quiet is a reference to the fact that Ness is a silent protagonist. This would later be referenced again in Saturn Valley.