• Title Theme
  • Mission 1 Theme
  • Mission 4 Theme
  • Mission 2 Theme


  • Duane Zuwala as Billy Lee
  • Brandon Lackey as Jimmy Lee
  • Mike Christensen as Unbeatable Dead Guy
  • Leo Camacho as Abobo


(Title Theme)

Billy Lee:
D-D-D-Double Dragon, fuckin' your face. It's time to duke it.
Billy and Jimmy Lee bitch, fightin' is useless.
'Bout to break out and smash to get my girl back.
Fuckin' now it's time to taste this Sosetsuken!
With the lightnin' speed, you can't be fuckin' with me.
Fuckin' punch you in the face until my fist bleeds.
My bro Jimmy's got my back, he'll always be my nigga.
He won't think twice about pullin' the trigger.
New York's gone to shit since the apocalypse hit.
Me and my brother are the only people here legit.
Damn bitch, take this fist I'm gonna steal your whip!
Grab your face and straight kick it like I'm tryin' to break it, c'mon!
Jimmy Lee:
I see you're gangster. I'm pretty gangster myself. (Pow!)
Jimmy Lee and I'm bad for your health.
Selflessly devoted member of the Fuck You Club.
Clubbin' you like a baby seal and cuttin' you up in the tub.
Billy Lee:
You see the Black Warriors?
Jimmy Lee:
Billy Lee:
Their shit's kind of whacky.
The world's seen the last of-
Jimmy Lee:
Billy Lee:
William Mackey. Bitch!
I'm fuckin' pissed, 'bout to take that whip!
Hit 'em so hard they'll be shittin' bricks!
Abobo don't know, he'll fall in a hole.
Double Dragon bitch, you don't even know.
About to infiltrate, bust a hole in the gate.
Grab a crate and straight put a dent in your face.
'Cause New York's gone to shit since the apocalypse hit.
Me and my brother are the only people here legit.
Damn bitch suck a dick stay away from this shit!
I'm 'bout to wipe out the crime rate bitch any minute, c'mon!
Jimmy & Billy Lee:
Jimmy Lee:
Nail time; can't touch this motherfuckin' gangster rhyme.
Write fail on your face with a flick of my wrist.
That's how I roll know this I got lots of tricks.

(Mission 1 Theme)

You can't fuck with this
Billy Lee:
Jimmy Lee:
'Cause we're dangerous.
Step up to the plate we'll rearrange your shit.
Billy Lee:
Re-a re-a re-a rearrange
Jimmy Lee:
The Double Dragons, draggin' ya down to the ground.
Billy Lee:
Jimmy Lee:
Jimmy and Billy representin'.
Billy Lee:
Jimmy Lee:
Quit messin' around!
Billy Lee:
Jimmy Lee:
Machine Gun Willy goin' down tonight.
Fightin' the Black Warriors until everything's alright again.
Rescuin' Marian, carryin' nothin' but pain.
Billy Lee:
Nothin' but pain
Jimmy Lee:
Same shit same fucked up day
Billy Lee:
C'mon. Billy and Jimmy, two headbuttin' motherfuckers.
See these dragon tattoos? Don't fuck around cocksucker.
Take this bat and crack a black hole in your head.
Unbeatable Dead Guy:
You'll never beat me fuckers!
Billy Lee:
I just did you're dead!
Unbeatable Dead Guy:

(Mission 4 Theme)

Yo motherfuckers yeah my name is Abobo.
I keep my shit tight though, and all of my homies know.
Don't fuckin' look at me like I'm Donkey Kong. Wrong!
I'm twice as good lookin' and three times as strong.
So you motherfuckers think you can just go crossin' tracks?
Don't relax in this alley, you're gonna get some whip cracks.
Yeah that's right I fuckin' slapped your bitch and walked away.
But after one night with me, she's gonna wanna stay.
So just get the fuck back and stop a'runnin' your lips.
Walkin' all up in my hood dressed up like Bloods and Crips.
Doin' ballet like West Side Story in your matchin' outfits.
Oh look it's Billy and Jimmy, the Double Faggoty twins!
Billy Lee:
Well listen up Abobo, you fuckin' homo!
Fat-headed, pencil-leaded, and I'll stab your ass bro.
You're goin' down in the hole, you don't even know.
Jump, kick to the face-
Billy Lee:
Takin' you down with one blow!
Jimmy Lee:
Oh no little bro you killed Abobo!
There's somethin' that I think you should know
before we go, I am the Shadow Boss.
Billy Lee:
Jimmy Lee:
Yeah sure, why not.
And while I'm at it, your girlfriend thinks I'm totally hot.
Billy Lee:
Well if that's how it's gotta be I'm gonna take you down too!
I thought you were my brother, now you're dead, fuck you!
Jimmy Lee:
Fuck me? Haha bitch, fuck me?
Let's take it outside bro, then we'll see.

(Mission 2 Theme)

Billy Lee:
How dare you go against me?! I trusted your shit!
I thought you was my brother, not some punk-ass bitch!
A double crosser not a dragon wipe that smile off your face.
Or I'll smash back and crack your fuckin' jaw with a mace!
Jimmy Lee:
My-my-my-my fist will hit you, so hard.
Make you look like Charizard.
I'm too legitimate to handle, bro.
Like Mario put it best (Lets'a go.)
Join us; don't be so stupid.
Teach all of my warriors Sosetsuken.
If you don't, I'll put you in a headlock, G.
By the way, I think your girl really likes me.

Billy Lee:
You can't fuck with this shit I'll fuckin' kill you!
Jimmy Lee:
I will give you such an atomic wedgie!
Billy Lee:
I am tellin' Mom.
Jimmy Lee:
How you gonna tell Mom?
Billy Lee:
Keep talkin' motherfucker I'm just settin' you up for this:

Fist of rage, why you act that way?
I'm a better fuckin' fighter than you anyway.
Jimmy Lee:
Billy Lee:
Just gimme my girl and get your ass home.
Zoey's on in five-minutes you never miss that show! No no!
Jimmy Lee:
What you know about the 101?
Leave Zoey alone, Nickelodeon's fun.
Unlike me you'd better run think twice
About where you're hidin', big cats eat mice.
My tiger-style is devastatin'.
You know you love it brother don't be hatin'!
Kick, punch, it's all in the method.
Not mother-approved but totally kid-tested.

Billy Lee:
You can't fuck with this shit I'll fuckin' kill you!
Jimmy Lee:
I will give you such an atomic wedgie!
Billy Lee:
I am tellin' Mom.
Jimmy Lee:
You wouldn't!
Billy Lee:
You stupid motherfucker I'm just settin' you up for that BOOM, Bitch!

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