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MusicEdit

  • Ragnarok Canyon Theme
  • Stage Clear Theme
  • Cut Scenes Theme
  • Turbo Tunnel Part 1 Theme
  • Turbo Tunnel Part 2 Theme
  • Surf City Theme
  • Title Theme Theme

CreditsEdit

  • Duane Zuwala as Rash
  • Brandon Lackey as Zitz, Prof. T-Bird
  • Mike Christensen as Pimple (Though he is credited in the notes he isn't featured on the LP version of the song.)
  • Ash Zuwala as Dark Queen

LyricsEdit

(SS Vulture Flying, Hatch Opens)
(Ragnarok Canyon Theme)

Rash:
Battletoads...
I'm gonna hit you in the face with my big ass fists
'cause we're the Battletoads bitch and we don't take no shit.
Enemies step up and they get knocked the fuck out!
Zitz:
Pow!
Rash:
Knocked the fuck out, so what the fuck's up now?
Punch a bird in the face and use his mouth as a weapon.
Ride a jet to the goal and keep them all guessin'.
Zitz:
Uhh, how did they do that?
Rash:
Do what?
Zitz:
Get through that.
Rash & Zitz:
Place with the snakes?
Zitz:
I don't know, shit.
Rash:
We're through that.
We're comin' with the force, and we'll be there soon.
You can't stop us motherfucker, no matter what you do

Cause we're the Battletoads.
Zitz:
We're the Battletoads.
Rash:
What, what, what, what, what
Rash & Zitz:
We're the Battletoads.
Rash:
Represent motherfucker
Rash & Zitz:
We're the Battletoads.
Rash:
I told you motherfuckers
Rash & Zitz:
Better leave us alone.
Zitz:
Messin' with the best, and everyone knows
You never mess around with the Battletoads.
Here we go.

Rash:
Round 2, what the hell you gonna do?
When we take the enemy and kick his ass to the moon?
See, I beat the Ice Zone with precision.
Surfed on the river like a man on a mission.
Destroyed the enemies and left 'em all bitchin'.
Zitz:
I'm so hungry I could eat a whole kitchen!
Rash:
See them fuckin' Ninja Turtles ain't got shit on this.
Zitz:
What?!
Rash:
Whoop their ass, introduce 'em to my fists.
I may be warty, but I got some skill.
I got a bitchin' arm band, and a license to kill.

We're the Battletoads.
Zitz:
We're the Battletoads.
Rash:
What, what, what, what, what
Rash & Zitz:
We're the Battletoads.
Rash:
Represent motherfucker
Rash & Zitz:
We're the Battletoads.
Rash:
I told you motherfuckers
Rash & Zitz:
Better leave us alone.
Zitz:
Messin' with the best, and everyone knows
You never mess around with the Battletoads. (Robot Walker Boss Explodes)

(Stage Clear Theme)

Do-do-de-do-do-do-de-de-de-de-do-do-do, Yeah, jazz hands, jazz hands...

(Cut Scenes Theme)

Prof. T-Bird:
Professor T. Bird with an assignment for you.
It looks like Princess Angelica and Pimple are doomed
Unless you hurry, hurry, hurry go and rescue them soon!
Show the Dark Queen the meaning of what it is we do.
Rash:
Here we go, now!

(Turbo Tunnel Part 1 Theme)

We're gonna break down, like a skin disease.
Save Pimple and the Princess from the Dark Queen.
I'm tellin' ya right now, Professor T..
There ain't nobody gonna fuck with me!
Make my way through the stage, I'm a fist of rage!
Just stay the fuck out of my way, okay?
See I'm very pissed off, it's a fucked up day
And in a fucked up way.-
Zitz:
I'm gonna mess up your face!
Rash:
I'll take the bitches on the right, you take the left.
Zitz:
No!
Rash:
Kick their ass to the moon, like their ass retarded.
Break through their forces with style, too.
You'll be askin' yourself.-
Zitz:
What'd I get myself into?
Rash:
We're comin' to the rescue like heroes do.
When we make it to the Queen I'll cunt punch her, too.
We're the Battletoads bitch, you'd better watch your back.
I'm gonna lay you out flat like a heart attack!
Zitz:
For sure!

(Turbo Tunnel Part 2 Theme)

Rash:
Down to the right, up to the left.
Bring on them holes, bitch it ain't no contest.
I'm dodgin' and weavin', barely competin'.
Ride on the ramp, and crash through the ceilin'.
Zitz:
Woo!
Rash:
There's a hole in the floor.
Zitz:
Watch it!
Rash:
Jump over it, it ain't there any more!
I'm comin' through y'all, better know your role.
'Til the Dark Queen ain't the Dark Queen no more.
'Til my broham ain't kidnapped no more.
Zitz:
'Til we find the Princess and tag-team that whore!
Rash:
Yeah, bring on the rat, and whoop that motherfucker like BOOM.

(Surf City Theme)

Zitz:
We're on our way to the Dark Queen's Lair.
We've got to be prepared because we're almost there.
Gonna put her in a state of disrepair.
Rash:
Come on!
Zitz:
She's already impaired.
Rash:
Here we go, haha!
Zitz:
And when we enter the battle, think twice, watch what you're doin'.
One mistake that we make and Pimple and the Princess are doomed!
And don't come over to my side; I'm left, you are on the right.
I hope she puts up a fight, 'cause Battletoads ARE BRINGIN' THE BOOM.

(Title Theme)

Dark Queen:
What the fuck are you doin' here Battletoads?!
I will destroy you! You can't hit me, I'm a woman!
Rash:
I realize you're a woman but I really don't care.
You're gonna have to tell the doctor you fell down the stairs!
You're gonna need them sunglasses for them black eyes, whore.
I've been drinkin' since breakfast, I don't care any more!
Zitz:
Spinnin' around in circles, kickin' me wearin' me down.
If I were a Ninja Turtle I would be dead by now!
But I got skills beyond recognition, a fist in your ass.
That's what you get for fuckin' around with Zitz and Rash!
Dark Queen:
Sorry! I'm SOOO SORRY!...
Rash:
Hey Zitz, check it out I got a baseball bat.
It's my woman-beatin' Louisville whackamasmack.
This damn crack's got me hungry, let's go get us a snack.
So we can eat after this gang-bang and take a nap. Yeah!
Zitz:
Sounds good Rash, but where the hell did you get a bat?
This game doesn't have bats, lay off of the crack!
Rash:
Shiiiiit...
Zitz:
Why are we even rescuin' this worn-out whore?
I say we take Pimple out, that way both of us score.
Rash:
HIGH FIVE!

Dark Queen:
Get your toad dick out of my mouth.
You're right it does taste like chicken, Haha.

Pimple:
Hey what's up guys I found a way out.
What the?... (Fighting/Laughing Sounds)
Rash:
Fuck...you
Pimple:
Oww ah oww fuckin' hit me, oh STOP! ow (Groaning/Croak, Fighting/Laughing Continues)
Zitz:
Ok, dude you got him.

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